Wedding Thank You Etiquette
89
![PrintingPress: Wedding [OLD VERSION]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41QDK2F9M3L._SL75_.jpg) | Amazon Price: $18.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $4.43 List Price: $24.99 |
 | Amazon Price: $20.00 List Price: $16.99 |
 | Amazon Price: $39.95 |
After receiving a very tacky "Thank You" for a wedding gift yesterday, I felt compelled to write about the proper etiquette for a wedding "Thank You". Read on to discover what is acceptable in terms of timing and word choices for wedding "Thank You" notes.
Timing:
It can seem like an overwhelming task to tackle "Thank You" notes, but if a few are done each day they can be done in no time. While you have up to 3 months to send a socially acceptable "Thank You" note for a wedding gift, it is best to get them out within 2 weeks of returning from the honeymoon. Any gifts received before the wedding should be acknowledged promptly before the wedding. In this situation, a bride should use her maiden name on the note. Again, by doing just a few notes a day, a bride and groom should be able to make it through their list within this timeframe.
The Rules:
Now let's talk about the rules for an appropriate "Thank You". NEVER, NEVER, NEVER send a preprinted "Thank You"! Along these same lines, don't use email or a generic thank you on a wedding website. Nothing is more impersonal than this! People got dressed up, took a day out of their lives, and stuffed an envelope with cash or spent their hard earned money on a gift for you. Proper etiquette says that you send a handwritten "Thank You" note in return. When you send a preprinted note you are telling the giver that their gift didn't mean enough to receive mention in a note. When you treat it like a mass mailing it is insulting!
A personal thank you note is the ONLY appropriate way to say "Thank You". It is the only way to make sure appreciation is expressed. Handwritten notes express sincerity. There is no exception to this rule!
Even if you've thanked someone in person, it is still necessary to send them a Thank You.
If a group gives you a gift, it is appropriate to send each person an individualized note. NO NOT send a group note!
Stationary
Many times "Thank You" notes will be included in the wedding invitation package. Most likely they will have a similar pattern as the invitations and have "Thank You" or a monogram printed on the front. If no "Thank You" notes were included, I recommend going to any stationary store and picking up cards with a simple "Thank You" printed on the front.
Cards should be blank on the inside. There shouldn't be any generic wording that will dictate what is said. Again, a wedding "Thank You" needs to be handwritten and should be heartfelt.
It is OK to have your return address preprinted on the envelopes or to use simple preprinted lables, but the gift givers address should always be handwritten.
 | Amazon Price: $0.56 List Price: $9.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $0.85 List Price: $8.95 |
Word Choices
It doesn't take long to express gratitude in a note and even the most simple note will go a long way in showing your thanks. Remember that wording does not need to be perfect. An imperfect note that shows heartfelt thanks will go much further than no note at all.
Be enthusiastic but don't gush!
When sending a "Thank You" note to someone you know well, it is acceptable to use their first names, otherwise you should always address the giver by Mr. and Mrs. _______.
Thank You suggestion for a monetary gift:
It is not necessary to mention the amount of the gift but you should always mention how you will spend the money.
Dear Kevin and Stacey (or Mr. and Mrs. Smith if that is how you address them),
Thank you so much for the very generous wedding gift. As you know, we have been saving for a house and will be putting your gift toward our down payment. It was so thoughtful of you and so very much appreciated. We're so glad you were able to make it to the wedding and we thank you for being there to share in our joy.
Sincerely,
Thank You suggestion for a specific gift:
Thought was given to selecting just the right gift, so you need to mention it and how you will use it in your note. If you neglect to mention the gift, the giver will never know how much it was truly enjoyed.
Never imply that the gift will be returned, whether it wasn't your taste or you received five of the same gift. Just show simple gratitude for the thought.
Dear Kevin and Stacey,
Thank you so much for the beautiful picture frame. It is going to look great on our mantle displaying our wedding photo and we will think of you every time we see it. We're so happy that you were there to share in our special day.
Thanks again for your thoughtfulness.
Love,
Thank You suggestion for someone who was unable to attend the wedding:
Always acknowledge shipped gifts promptly as the sender has no way of knowing if you received it unless you tell her.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
Thank you so much for the beautiful wine glasses. We were hoping to get them and will enjoy using them in our new home. We truly missed you on our special day and look forward to seeing you soon.
Thanks again for your kindness.
Sincerely,
If someone travelled a great distance to attend your wedding you should always mention this in the note with something like "We appreciate the fact that you travelled so far to share in our special day."
These suggestions and tips should make the task of writing your wedding "Thank You" cards very simple!
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (16)
- Funny (1)
- Awesome (1)
- Beautiful (3)
- Interesting (2)
Comments are greatly appreciatedLoading...
Thanks so much for your comment (my first one!!:-)!!) I'm still trying to figure everything out, and just realized how I could comment on your comment.
I think asking pple to get there thank you's out in two weeks is a bit much. I know us for example got our cards from our photographer and we had to wait on him till we got our cards and that took a little over a month. So I think people should be a bit more understanding and know that we all have lives and that they will get there cards as soon as possible.
I can't seem to find what the etiquette is for showers when you know the female attending the shower is part of a couple. My friend purchased the gift and attended the party, but didn't sign the card. Am I to assume the gift is from both her and her husband? Other women at the shower signed their husband's names to the card.
Thank you for this advice. What is the etiquette for guests that came to the wedding, but did not give a card or gift? We have a number of people who were locals and others who travelled across the country to attend. We were excited for all of us to be together to celebrate, but are unsure about what to do with thank yous. Do we send them to everyone regardless if they gave a gift or not?
I just received a wedding gift thank you note from the "bride and groom" a YEAR after the wedding! I had spent over $100.00 on their gift and it was not even specifically mentioned (Just "Thank you for the gift"). I guess at least they finally actually sent a note...and it was handwritten but still in my mind did not speak well of this couples' breeding.
Hi,
I was wondering what is the proper way to write our return address on the thank you note envelopes if I did not take my husband's name?
Thank you
Hi there
We are receiving quite a few monetary gifts at the moment for our wedding, and while we have specific things to put some of the money towards, there is no way at this stage (2 weeks before the wedding) we can think of different things for each thank you card to specify how we intend to spend the money. Is there any acceptable alternative to saying what you are spending the money on, for a monetary gift??
Many thanks
Leslie, I would probably address the thank you to both members of the couple if they were both present. Since showers are typically a "female" event, the woman probably left the male's name off for that reason.
Bunny, You should send a card thanking them for taking time out of their busy lives to travel and take part in the special day.
Linette, You should put both names on the return adress like: Mark Smith and Linette Jones.
Pauline, You can certainly duplicate what you plan to spend the money on, since I doubt people will compare their thank you notes. Or, you can always use a generic phrase like "we will be using this money to start our lives together".
I hope that helps.
Many thanks Stacey. Do you think the following would be acceptable, or do you have any suggestions:
Dear Jim & Sarah
We are so happy to hear that you will be able to join us on our big day.
We would like to thank you for your very generous gift which we will be sure to put to good use in our married life together.
We hope you and the kids have a wonderful time on your holidays, and we are looking forward to seeing you on the 7th August.
Sincerely
Tom & Pauline
Stacey: This is for gift received before the wedding which is on 7th August
Thanks again
I think that sounds perfect!
Thanks very much Stacey - you've been a great help :-)
I was married in June (Destination wedding), took a week long honeymoon and a week after arriving home we had a wedding reception. I had an operation a week after the reception was over. I can't even imagine having the wedding thank you notes send out to 200 people within two weeks after the wedding. I understand surgery is not a common post wedding activity, but I do not plan on explaining to all of my guests why my thank you cards took 6 weeks instead of 2; I don't feel it would be appropriate matter to discuss nor do would I want to tell hundreds of people about my personal health issues. It was simply impossible for my husband and I. I am currently working on thank you notes now and came to this site while lookiing for comments about ettiquette regards wedding thank you. I appreciate your knowledge and comments but am leaving the site a little discouraged. I think two weeks is pretty unreasonable for most people.
I loved this article! I was looking for something like this for when I write out my Thank You notes.
I do NOT think two weeks is unreasonable (in most cases).
My sister got married in July and her Thank You notes were out in the mail in TWO days. She told me that it means more when they are out sooner. She didn't want to keep putting it off, and she thought that by everyone getting them so soon it showed how much they loved and appreciated everyone. (Granted they only had about 100 people at the wedding) but even still. Her and her husband stayed up all night the night after the wedding and went through them all- together.
I just recieved a thank u 5 months after the wedding. It was pre printed, and just felt like an after thought after having multiple gift registries for the different pre celebrations. Personally anything recieved later than 3 months after the wedding is really just rude
I am a newlywed and after the wedding, we moved across country. Our wedding was at the end of June and I'm still working on thank-you notes. Is it really that bad? I've been SO busy and I really AM grateful for the gifts we received. In my notes I've said how much fun its been to set up whatever their gift was in our new place in CA. Does that help???
Plus, I refuse to send a thank you note that is less than 5 lines. Its impersonal in my opinion. My friend also just got married, and her thank you notes annoy me. Ex: "Dear so-and-so. Thank you for the _______. We put it up right away. Thanks also for coming to our reception. It meant a lot! Sincerely, ....."
Oh, and mine are home-made. Any brownie points for that?
Thank you all for your comments! In response to Alison, I'm sorry that this article left you feeling discouraged, that was certainly no the intent. Obviously under your circumstances I think that people would understand it taking a little longer for you to send a thank you. No, you don't need to explain, but personally, I would put a simple apology for it taking a little longer. Most likely your family and close friends would already know what was going on and wouldn't expect any explaination. For the normal person who goes on a week long honeymoon, another week to write thank you notes is not unreasonable.
Gina, Hooray for your sister! Two days is very impressive and yes, it does mean a lot to guests when they get a thank you right away.
Diana, like Alison, obviously a move across country warrents a little extra time....but not too much! Everyone is busy and yes, setting up a new home takes a lot of time, but unpacking every single box and setting up can wait a little bit. Get your essentials unpacked then take a few minutes every day to work on your thank yous. They will be done in no time.
Given that guests have a year to give a gift. At what point do you decide that they are not sending a gift and thus thank them for traveling or simply for attending? I don't want to wait for the full year before sending them a note, and I don't want a "thanks for attending" note to seem like a guilt-trip for not giving a gift. Is it just as appropriate to not send a note at all in this instance?
Whoops, an etiquette website is not the best spot for a grammar snafu. That should have read: Given that guests have a year to give a gift, at what point do you decide that they are not sending a gift and thus thank them for traveling or simply for attending? To all of the grammar police out there, I promise that that won't happen with my thank yous.
I like some help with my thank you etiquette. I am a newlywed. I got married a week ago. Is a thank you card enough or am I suppose to add a gift to my thank you card for those that gave me a wedding gift?
Thanks for your help.
Linime
I think your expectations are a little unreasonable, i have often been told the "one-year" rule, and NEVER thought that I would take more than a month. But in the 7 months my husband and I have been married, the following has occurred: I have moved across the country three times (work had us separated by 800 miles), I have been diagnosed with a serious, life-changing illness and spent 6 days in the hospital, my husband had a brain infection, and I changed careers. Sometimes life happens and rules don't apply!
Blythe, that is a very good question and I guess you would just have to go with your gut on that one. I would probably wait no more than 2 months and then just send a "Thank you for coming" card.
Linime, just a thank you card, no gift expected. People gave you and your new partner a gift to start your lives together.
Dana, this article is not meant to offend anyone, of course there are exceptions to every rule. I'm sorry for what you are going through and wish you the best of luck.
What is the thank you etiquette for someone who did attend the wedding and not give a gift.
And what is the etiquette on someone who RSVP'd saying yes and not coming and not giving a reason? Do I still have to give a thank you note for that person?
Janis, you should send a "thank you for being part of our special day" note even if they did not give a gift. We never know what other's circumstances are and you should still thank them for taking time out of their busy lives to be there for you.
As far as someone responding yes but not showing, unless there was a gift given, there is no reason to thank them. If they did give a gift you would thank them for the gift but just leave out the part about taking part in your special day. Again, we don't know what may have come up and it may be personal.
I went to five weddings in a one year period from Nov 2009 to October 2009. I got huge thanks from two and have yet to hear from the other three. I spent $130 on the couple that married in Nov 2009 and have never received a thanks. I find that incredibly tacky. Still hope that the other two will come through as those weddings were in early Oct but you never know. I hate to admit it but it has jaded me for spending that much at future weddings.
Very useful article and interesting stories in the comments :)
I personally think a lot of this etiquette stuff is outdated. I remember when looking at websites for advice on how to send out the invitations, one said something along the lines of, “Your guests will think poorly of you if you don’t put all the pieces of your invitation inside the envelope in the proper order.” My reply to that is…if they think poorly of me because of THAT…then maybe I don’t want them at my wedding.
But, back to the thank you note thing. I believe this dates back…back to when most women were housewives. Maybe if I didn’t have to work and I was at home cooking soufflés and vacuuming all day, I would have gotten the thank yous out sooner. Also, we did photo thank you cards. So, we had to wait for the pictures to come back from the photographer, then we had to pick out our favorite pictures to design the card, place the card order, wait for the cards to come in the mail, and finally get to writing them and sending them. And yes, we specifically ordered them blank so we could handwrite them all.
Also, it’s a little presumptuous to put a 2-week expectation on someone when you don’t know their financial situation. For example, I got married in the summer and I’m a teacher. I kind of had to wait till I started work again to get my first paycheck in Sept. so I could afford the cards and stamps. (Not that it really mattered, as we had to wait for the whole photo card thing anyways.) And on that note, what to do in this day in age when not everyone has a mom and dad that can afford to pay for the wedding? Should I too write on my cards what I’m doing with their cash gifts? “Thanks for the check. I’ll be putting the money towards paying back our wedding debt since we had to pay for it ourselves. BTW, we didn’t even cut even. Thanks again.”
I’ve always heard the 1-year rule, so IMO, getting the thank you cards out in the 5-month ballpark can be perfectly acceptable in today’s world, especially with the economy the way it is. We *truly* appreciated our guests coming, and we *truly* appreciated our guests’ gifts. We had a few people tell us up front that they didn’t want to come because they couldn’t afford to give us any gift at all, and we told them to come anyways because it’s more important that they’re just *there* for us…come and enjoy the day with us. We're sending thank yous to them as well, as we appreciate their being there more than money. So, if we’re not judging some of our guests for giving us no gift at all, then I think we can think highly enough of our loved ones to believe that they won’t judge us because we took longer than 2 weeks to send a thank you card.
PS. Lots of good advice here...liked the sample thank yous...totally agree with the need to handwrite the thank yous...but I just had to share my perspective on those other issues.
D. Schoe, Congratulations on your marriage. As stated in other comments I've made, this article is not meant to make anyone mad or cause upset. It is simply a guideline to use in getting wedding thank yous out. Obviously there are circumstances that come up and make it impossible to follow the 2 week time line. I will tell you though, like you, I worked a full time job when I got married and my husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves as well, I still got my thank yous out in 2 weeks for all gifts that I had received, as well as for those people that came to the wedding and did not bring a gift. No, we did not have to wait for a photo card, so obviously that will take a little time as you are depending on your photographer, but once you have the cards it should not take long to get them out.
p.s. Good job on handwriting all of them, there is nothing worse than a generic "thank you for your gift".
I think etiquette is a good thing, our world could do with a bit more emphasis on good manners. A timely response is a good thing after all as the author points out people have given a great deal of themselves, so a personalized card shows how much the couple appreciated their guest.
On a personal note, being a professional wedding photographer, I think a plain card with a wedding image on the front is fine, the hand written message in side makes it truly personal and the image can then be perhaps put in a 6x4 inch frame to remember the day.
Many of our couples do this and at http://www.imaginethat.uk.net we supply lots of thank you cards for our clients. Keith
This was very helpful and in the perfect world an excellent source for proper etiquette. However, it took my husband and I a lot longer than two weeks to get our wedding thank you notes out. I am not even going to say how long because I feel people I don't even know on this site will judge us! Anyone that is willing to write us off because their thank you wasnt written within two weeks or their address wasnt properly handwritten isnt really a friend anyway. I like to think my friends and family are not that snobby.
You people are all fools. If they are truly your family and friends then they shouldn't care how long it takes to get them the thank you cards. If they complain at all then screw 'em. They'll get smacked
First of all I think there is a ton a great advice. When I got married 2 years ago, it was three weeks before Christmas and one week after New Years I had surgery. I had all my Thank You's done one month to the day and actually had people asking my dad if I was "ever" sending them out. I have attended 3 weddings now that I have never rec'd Thank you's for at all!!! I have no idea if they got the cash in the envelope or not. Maybe they didn't like the $75 personalized Photo album and Frame...anyway I like the 2 week rule and if there are exceptions then by all means go with the flow. As far as Scott12 comment about "fools", weren't you ever taught if you can't say something nice (or hell even helpful) then don't say anything. I agree if people complain then oh well...but why are you here again???
I just received my first pre-wedding gift and i was not sure if i should send a thank you card right away or wait until after the wedding. thanks for all the great advice! i'll be sure to get the thanks you card in the mail right away! ~L
I have a dilemma. We had a small ceremony and reception, just very close friends and family. When they'd ask where we were registered, we told them, but then said that we only wanted them there, they didn't have to bring anything. That's fine. My dilemma is that some of the guests that came took us up on that and didn't bring a gift, so I was wondering if those guests should receive a thank you card or not (thanking them for being there, maybe?). Thanks in advance for the advice!!
Lara, This is a great question and could go either way. It would certainly be a very nice gesture to send a "thank you for coming" card since people took time out of their busy lives to share in your special day. However, it is not necessary. You can do whatever you feel is best for you. Congratulations!
The guidelines on this page are helpful. For newlyweds who have unexpected events (moving, illness, etc.), common sense can point you in the right direction.
The bottom line is that if people want to write thank-you notes in a timely manner and are physically able to write them, they will make the time to do so, not make excuses for not doing so.
However modern the world is (and I work full-time, had surgery shortly before my wedding, and moved out of state right after returning from the honeymoon, so I can relate to the challenges of being a 21st Century bride), my feeling is that if a couple has time to register for gifts, open the gifts, and use the gifts, then they need to make the time to acknowledge receipt of the gifts.
To not sent prompt thank-you notes is selfish and rude. We still, despite our cyber-fast world, live in a civilized society, and that privilege comes with obligations.
For the bride who is a teacher and who didn't have the money for thank you cards or stamps, sorry, but you get no sympathy from me. You should have planned for that expense before inviting people to your wedding and expecting them to cough up the goods.
Stacey, thank you for the posting! Very helpful. I was married a little over a month ago (2 weeks honeymoon), and just finished half of our thank-yous this week. (Whew!!)
I had not planned to send thank-yous to people who didn't bring a gift...because we weren't able to greet each guest who came, and not everyone signed the guest book! Neither my husband nor my parents were able to greet everyone either, which was of course problematic.
Any suggestions?
Also, we had quite a few people from out-of-country that were not able to come - and sent a congratulations card (no gift). What is traditionally done in this case?
Thank you!
you must always sent a Thank You!!!!
My husband and I traveled to a wedding and spent a lot of money to travel and spend and gave a very expensive gift and never got a thank you!!!
Actually, I thought it was common knowledge......that you have 1 year to send out your thank you notes to your wedding guests. Not only do most have a honey moon, but most people I know are getting custom professional cards done by their photographer. With the best photographers, the wait time to receive your edited photos can be up to 6 months depending on the size of the photographer's studio. You still then need to choose the photo that will be used for the wedding thank you notes out of hundreds of photos, depending on the size of your wedding. I had 100 guests at my wedding and we had 500 photos to choose from...not an easy task. So we found ourselves looking through them over and over in the evenings when we had a little time. We finally picked one we both liked and thought exemplified our special day the best. Afterward, you still need to wait for the cards to be made, and that took about 2 months.
I do not agree or suggest that anyone should send out thank you notes in sections a few at a time. You could forget who you have send one to or loose track of some by accident because they are not all together. Also, someone could hear that someone else received a thank you note before them. That would be upsetting to most people...thinking perhaps you were overlooked. I feel it is much better to pick a weekend or a few days that you can get them all done together and sent out as a whole.
There are all sorts of other reasons I am sure, as to why couples are given 1 year. But I do think it is wrong to advise or suggest that anything more than 2 weeks or 3 months makes them bad people or not the norm. Because nowadays that is just not the case.
E Watson
I had my bridal shower yesterday, and there was a guest who was able to attend the shower, but will be unable to attend the wedding. I opened her shower gift at the shower, but she gave us the couple's wedding gift to set aside for later. I'm not sure how to handle the thank-yous: I know the shower thank-you note is supposed to go only to the woman, and promptly, and we've been sending out our wedding thank-yous promptly for gifts received before the wedding. So should I combine the thank yous and just send one thank you card to the couple for both presents? It seems silly to send two separate thank you cards to the same house on the same day...should I send the shower card now and wait until the actual wedding (about 5 weeks) to send the thank you for the wedding present?
I found this site extremely helpful! I was trying to find a proper way to thank my guests without sounding too casual or too gushy and your wording/scenarios were perfect. Thank you for your hard work!
I received a collection from the people at my work, one from those I invited to my wedding reception, and those who I didn't just as a general well wish to us both. So I am totally confused as to what I should do. There are 160 people in my work and would be ridiculous to give a card to everyone who signed my card. Also, should I give a thank you card to the ones I invited from my work who didn't attend the wedding reception, but may have gave to the gift they gave me for the ones that were coming to the wedding reception? Argh! I was thinking about giving thank you cards to those that attended my reception only and giving a 1 general thank you card to everyone at my work for the kind gift they gave me and leaving this at the kitchen area, which I have seen people do for presents for babies etc?
My wedding was May 22nd, and I am still working on thank-yous. I've always heard to send out thank-yous within six to eight weeks. Anything beyond three months is ridiculous. I admit I somewhat neglected to do them, just because we have nearly 100 thank yous to write up. That is a lot of writing and addressing. Plus, it does not help that MIL's co-workers attended the wedding and I do not know last names or addresses...so I have to hunt them down. To get notes written in two weeks is acceptable for some, but not everyone. I personally feel somewhat urged to get my thank you cards written, as someone has just questioned my mother if they will get a note. I should be done with mine in the next few days. To the bride who couldn't afford her thank-yous... I understand, but at the same time, I earn just a little over minimum wage, and I've managed to purchase some beautiful cards from Michael's craft store. Perhaps if you had some catastrophic event/or financial burden I could understand. You could easily buy 40 count packages of cards at Michael's with a 50% off coupon, full retail price is $9.99. Find the coupon in a Sunday paper or sign up for their email newsletters. You get a 40% or 50% off coupon every week. Stamps might be a little pricey, but you can always stock up on "forever stamps." I've found that Michael's has the best deal for cards when using coupons, so really there shouldn't be any excuse that cards are "too expensive."
Long story short, don't put off writing thank-you notes. As mentioned before, people travelled near and far for your wedding day. Some may have spent money on plane tickets, hotels, gifts, not to mention several hours of their time. Give a sincere thanks ASAP, I know I would be pissed if I got a note five months to a year PAST the wedding. THAT is beyond rude.
My husband is from England, and I plan on moving country hopefully by the end of the summer. Our wedding was June 13th, and we didn't get to have a honeymoon. Two days after our wedding, he had to go home to England, because we both have to stay in our respective countries while my Visa application is pending. The Visa has been very time consuming and very expensive, and I apologise for my wedding thank you's being sent out about 6 weeks after the wedding. I hope that I will not be criticised for not having them out in 2 weeks, but as I am doing them alone, terribly missing my husband, and dealing with a lot of Governmental departments, I hope I can be given some leeway. We all do the best we can, but I agree...in today's world, 2 weeks should not be the expected rule. I think that 3 months is a very reasonable time frame. It's still prompt, the notes are still being sent, and if people want to be that expectant as to call the mother of the bride after a week to ask if they are going to be thanked? I can't even imagine what I would say if that happened to me. It is rude not to send a thank you note, but it's also rude to ask for one. Give them a chance to be written!
Our wedding was July 30th 2010, after an engagement of a month & a half.NO not PG! its due to our parents being not in best of health & ages of 72, 82 & 87 (& 1 parent who past last April from lung cancer)We did it this way just to ensure having them their for our day!
We had no showers & didn't register any place. Our wedding was @ a court house & we didn't have a reception (just lunch with my new sister-in-laws & a couple of friends) We are planing to have a "Re-Reception" for our 1st anniversary. However, we did get $ gifts from some people who attended the courthouse affair.I have the T.Y. cards & I know proper etiquette would be to hand write the cards but because both of us have horrific handwriting I actually printed each persons t.y.card Thanking them for their attendance (& gift if one was given) I did the font in a handwriting style& they do look very nice. I just wanted them to be able to read it! LOL! Anyway, my questions are....
...1)I made "announcements" stating that we got married(EXMPL: "Once in awhile Right in the middle of an ordinary life you find a fairytale.... Her Blahski & Him YEAH! Are delighted to share the news of their marriage, preformed in a small ceremony on Friday, July 30th 2010
In R.M, Illinois at the R.M.Court House. No reception followed. Please update us in your address book.
Him & Her So&So @ Address & cel #'s")
Do I send them out, to the people who didnt know & those that did know & didn't make it to the court house?
2)Since our "reception" is a year later, do we register like a normal bridal couple?
Ya can send your answer/ideas to my Email address or Facebook me :}
THANKS!!
P.S. No my new hubby only had to show up @ the court house I did everything else! Yep I'm tired. LOL!
Should I send a thank you note to someone who attended the wedding but did not give a gift?
If someone sends a gift early, and you promptly send them a thank you, then they attend the wedding, do you owe them a second thank you?
I need some advice. My husband and I received a gift for our wedding, but we ended up returning it because we had already purchased a better version of the item ourselves years before. The problem is, a gift receipt was not included so we had to call the person to find out where they bought it. My question is this: are we still supposed to send a thank you note even though the person knows we returned the gift? If we still need to send one, can anyone offer a suggestion for what the note should say?
I respectfully disagree with your expectations of the timeframe for the send out of thank you's. With a full time job, I had my hands full getting the Thank You's out for the June shower. I took extra effort with to make every not persoanl. Then we got married in July and are moving at the end of September. It's now August and we just got the proofs from the photographer. How can I send the thank you's in three months when I don't have the thank you notes printed by then? Not only do I think two weeks is impossible, I think three months for many of us is also a challenge. I have hear that "officially" you have a year. I believe this went back to the times when people went on extended honeymoons and then started "setting up housekeeping" but still six months is a more practical timeframe. Thanks for letting me shar my opinion.
I am wondering what a proper gift is. We were invited to an adult wedding and thought 75.00 would be fine. I spent another 25 at the shower. When we got to the reception, I was surprised to see how lavish it was. I had no idea or I might have declined and sent a check for 50.00 instead. I am getting this feeling that we insulted them with our gift. There has not been any contact since or even a thank you. Do people really think like this? I have heard people complain that so and so didn't give enough to cover their food. Is this what weddings are all about now? Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
I was just married and I had someone attend the wedding that did not give a gift or a card. Is it etiquette to send them a Thank you note as well?
Can you please tell where to find these gifts in a cheap rate?
This is great information. Thank you.
I'm a full-time graduate student (year-round) and am just now working my way through the 150+ thank you notes that I have to send out for my wedding that was 8 weeks ago. I'm sorry, it is silly to expect people with busy lives to send out thank you cards within 2 weeks! That's ridiculous! I think as long as a thank you note is sent within a few months and it is personal and handwritten, that's all that matters! I have homework to do; it's not like I am a rude person. But this site sort of made me feel that way!
I agree with Beth - if you took the time to open the gifts and cards, cash the checks, spend the money and use the gifts...your guests deserve a prompt thank you. I believe thank you's should be out in a month and handwritten and personal thank you's are a must.
I am still waiting for some type of acknowledgement from the wedding we attended 5 months ago. I would still like to know what you think about the amount I gave, (75.00)Thanks.
I got married six months ago. I haven't yet sent out my thank you notes due to work, moving out of state, etc.......I've read comments that people who received their cards five months out thought the bride and groom were ungrateful. If this is the case, should I even bother sending them out if they are going to be received with malice? I truly am grateful for the generosity of those who came to my wedding...I even had several people beg me not to send a thank you note. What do you think?
Stephanie...Although I can understand you're busy, I don't think it's ever too late to say "Thank you." I'm sure your guests will be glad to recieve a quick note. I have been asking about a situation in which I know others received an acknowledgment, so I wanted to know if my gift was acceptable or not.
I cant get over how alot of people here say "i dont have time to send out thank you notes" seems like they forgot they somehow managed to "make time" during the course of their wedding planning. You made time to send save the dates and invitations to all 200 guests, suddenly when the wedding is done and all your gifts and money stuffed envelopes are in your possession, making time is no longer a priority. Stop making excuses (unless your physically incapable) for nto sending out the notes and be grateful for your guest and the time and money they spent for you on your special day.
I got married in July this year and managed to take one day out of my 10 day trip home to write all the thank-you's. They were all handwritten with help from my husband. If you have time to marry and receive gifts you must send a thank- you. I attended a wedding around 7 months ago and have not received a thank- you. I was worried they had not received the money or it was not enough.... You make time!!
I have attend 2-3 weddings a year and to be honest I don't judge people based on if they take 2 weeks or 6 months to get a thank you card in the mail. I have a choice to attend a couples wedding and when i give a gift of money I do some from my heart, so while it is nice to get a 'thank you' I'm not counting the days until one is received. I got married earlier this year and it took me 3 whole months to get my cards done - and even that was actually quite difficult to do. We went on a 4 week honey moon - most places quite remote. Personally I had no intention on writing than you cards on my honeymoon. My husband and I are both hard working professionals who work 60-70 hour weeks and being away for 4 weeks meant that we had to work extra hours when we got back. Its pretty easy to judge that others and claim that 'you make time' when you have a lot of time on your hands
If I was a guest at Gina's sister's wedding and received a card 2 days after the wedding my first thought would be 'wow that's what they spent their first few days/nights as newlywed doing?'....certainly not how our first few weeks went, but hey whatever floats your boat
We had several people attend our wedding but did not give a gift. Are we required to send a thank you to them?
Wonder who will be writing thank you notes for Prince William and Kate Middleton next year? And will they be sent out within 2 weeks?
Thanks for this article! How I wish the bride and groom of the most recent wedding I attended would have read it. I was quite offended when I never received a thank you for the shower gift. And I think it is beyond rude to expect a wedding gift when you've never thanked me for the shower gift. So, I am executing the option of waiting to give them the wedding gift. If after a year, I've never receieved a shower thank you; then I will send them a wedding gift of cash for the amount of the plate at dinner.
I'm confused at the above brides thinking they have a year to get out thank you's. That is for your GUEST, sweetie. Your GUEST has a year to give you a gift. You have 2-3 months to get them a thank you.
I was married in 03, worked full time, traveled 60% for my job, sold my house and moved into a new one AND got my thank you's out in 30 days. I don't understand the whining about it, ladies, it's not a very hard task to complete.
I am a newlywed, recently married in October. Currently, I am working on our 'thank you' notes, and am almost done with them. I have been using your notes as a guide to writing ours, and your advice and words have been very helpful to me. I do have one question. How would you approach a 'thank you' note to someone who was NOT invited, but had sent a gift anyway? Thank you!
I am a newlywed, recently married in October. Currently, I am working on our 'thank you' notes, and am almost done with them. I have been using your notes as a guide to writing ours, and your advice and words have been very helpful to me. I do have one question. How would you approach a 'thank you' note to someone who was NOT invited, but had sent a gift anyway? Thank you!
Wow! It's sometimes hard to keep up with all of the comments on this hub! I wanted to take a second to respond to recentnewlywed's question. Whenever you receive a gift you respond with a thank you. So even though they did not attend the wedding, they were very thoughtful to send a gift and you should send them a note thanking them for their generousity.
Cookie, I personally would thank people for attending and sharing in your special day. Some people spend a great deal on arrangements to be able to attend and for that they should be thanked.
recentweddingguest, thanks for your comment!
My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years now, but we just very recently celebrated a vow renewal. This was something my mother wanted very badly since we technically had a justice of the peace wedding. How should thank you cards be addressed for vow renewals? Also, our renewal was the 11th of December... can religious Christmas cards be used as thank you's? The actual thank you will be hand-written, of course. Since this was a renewal my mother wanted, most all of the monetary gifts were handed over to her... am I still required to thank people for the money? I guess I just have more questions than I was able to find answers for.
I have a question on the receiving end. If a guest attends a wedding and gives a gift, but does not receive a thank you note (at all), how can they tactfully ask (and who do they ask) if the gift was received at all? After all, there is a possibility of it being stolen or dropped through the cracks at the reception or in transit.
Great post Stacey!
I completely agree with Beth! and so many people find the time for the internet and facebook these days, get off the internet and stop making excuses!!!!
I have a young child and work full time as a teacher and I get married in 3 months. I have managed to address most of my envelopes (the ones i know that arent going to be moving!)and folded all my handmade cards and cut out the embellishments for them. I have also negotiated with our photographer to receive one photo for the cards a week after the wedding. I havent even posted my invitations yet!
But I don't want to send them too late or ones that are impersonal. When my son was born I made personalized cards with his photo and a personalized thank-you for their cards and gifts I sent them within 2 weeks of receiving their card or present. The appreciation I got from that was great and it wasnt too painful to get them all done.
So it really annoys me how ungrateful people can be. I think lots of people just get married for the presents these days and are just plain greedy!
Of course there are exceptions to a certain extent thats just common sense. But I really appreciate it when someone makes the effort and i cherish the thank you more, the longer it takes the more likely I'll rip it up and throw it in the bin quicker. My advice is to just suck it up, stay up late and do it sooner rather than later you'll feel heaps better about it!
I have personally thanked everyone who attended my wedding and those who gave us gifts. I am ashamed to read that there are so many people out there who believe their gift was not appreciated if they didn't receive a hand-written thank you card within a few weeks. Did you really give the gift to be formally recognized? Was that the purpose of your gift? Maybe years ago, when women didn't work much and didn't have so many family responsibilities, it would be OK to expect hand written notes in a few weeks. But, that is not the world we live in. Etiquette is not criticizing your loved ones for not formally thanking you for your gift. It is not giving a gift with the strong expectation that you will be praised for your choice and so-called generosity. Get over yourselves, caddy people, and just genuinely wish the best for the new couple.
I think these expectations and constraints are ridiculous. If you have a year to give a present, you should have a year to thank someone. Sooner is better, but anytime is better than not at all. We put together a wedding in two months due to the fact that my mother, who lives in another state, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right after we decided to do it, I discovered I was pregnant and I had something called hyperemesis gravidarum. I was in the hospital then incapacitated and unable to work, having home health care with IV every day almost up to our wedding day (we were forced to hire a planner). I got a little better and I then spent 2/3 of the next two months out of town caring for my mother, including 3 weeks in the hospital where she almost died at one point due to sepsis. Anyone who is pissy about not getting a thank-you note "promptly" under these circumstances is frankly not the least bit worthy of being called a friend or family member, and I have nothing but pity those of you whose friends/family would hold you to such ridiculous standards when they don't know what you might be undergoing.
I find it interesting the number of excuses that people can come up with for being rude.If a guest can take the time to choose a gift,and let's face it,that does involve considerable time,then writing a few cards every night should not be such an onerous task.Four months ago I gave my nephew and his bride four hundred dollars and so far am still waiting for a thank you.They were able to find their way to the bank to cash the cheque.That surely took more than the time it would have taken to write a short note.Thank you should be as much a priority as any of the other wedding plans.
This is truly helpful and Nice Read.
I justed helped in organizing both the wedding shower and wedding for a friend. The Bride is now asking for advice on thank you cards?
Apparently, the bride has received two presents, 1 at the bridal shower and 1 at the wedding reception, both from the same individual. So, does she need to write 2 cards or one?
Helping Hands needs your help...
Thank you Drigs and Marcia!
Helping Hands, I personally think that one heartfelt thank you including both gifts is fine.
I am writing a thank you note to my aunt and uncle for a gift. My aunt attended the wedding but my uncle did not. She drove 4.5 hours to attend. I want to thank her for coming, but do not want to be rude to my uncle or leave him out. How do I go about this?
pegsue, my suggestion would be something like this:
Dear Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill,
Thank you so much for the beautiful x. Husband and I both love it and are excited to use it for x. Aunt Jill, thank you so much for making the trip to be with us on our special day. It was great to spend time with you. Uncle Jack, please know you were missed but your thoughtfulness and love were thoroughly felt. Thanks again to both of you for your generous gift.
Love,
Husband and Wife
almlblelr, I couldn't have said it more beautifully myself! Thanks for your help, I find it difficult to respond promptly to all of the questions at times when life gets crazy.
pegsue, I hope that was helpful.
I attended a shower a little over 6 months ago, and the wedding a little over 5 months ago and have yet to receive any thank you or acknowledgement for either of the gifts I gave. Now the couple is having a baby shower in a couple months. I have been totally turned off by this and feel why should I bother giving a baby gift when I feel that my shower and wedding gifts went unappreciated, not to mention I barely speak to the couple (we used to be close friends but have drifted apart over the years). Am I being unreasonable?
Sherry, I personally don't feel that you are being unreasonable. This sort of thing really gets under my skin and is what prompted me to write this to begin with. Very rude of the couple!!
Sherry,I understand how you feel.It has now been six months since my nephew's wedding and I'm still waiting for a thank you for the money that I gave them.Given that I wasn't at the wedding,I would say that perhaps four hundred dollars was overly generous on my part.However,I did wait seven months for a thank you after his first marriage so maybe there is hope yet!
If you do not wish to give a wedding gift then do not. You sound like a bunch of snobs. A gift is from the heart and it should be known the receiver is gracious.
To all the beautiful brides that come to this site to find advice on writing your thank you notes, I would like to give you some advice. Although a thank you card is a must for every gift you received and for every guest that attended your wedding regardless of whether they gave you a gift, the form of the thank you card should be particular to your style. The thought that you have to hand write the card a specific way in order to not offend everyone is ridiculous. If the people that sent you a gift are so wrapped up in the thank you card, then I am afraid that they are looking for gratification out of the gift far greater than you are.
Wow, For Those Bashing On A Time Line Of Sending A Thank You. I Have Researched & It Does State That The Bride & Groom Have 1 YEAR To Do So.
I Mean No Offense, Many Of The Times Photographers Are NOT Quick Enough To Get The Couples Photos Together. & Since The Bride & Groom Do Usually Send A Pic In The Thank U Or Photo Cards Are Sent....Clearly The Couple Wouldn't Send Out Thank You's Till That Task Is Done. I Feel As Long As The Bride & Groom Send It In The Alotted Time & Personally Write Them...Who Cares. You Don't Know What May Be Going On In Their Lives. A Couple I Knew Had Gotten Their Wedding Thank You Cards From An End Of June Wedding...They Had 2 Wait On Photographer For The Pics, Put Together The Cards....Wait For Them To Be Printed & Delivered, By The Time They Got Their Cards In October & Started To Write Them....They Were Robbed!!!! It Took A Month-Two Months To Get Their House Back In Order! After That They Began House Hunting Because Of Fear Of Living In That House!!! So, I Think The Fact That It Took Them A Year, Is Ok W/Me After Hearing What Hell They Went Through!!!!!
I think that etiquette is important, but I also think sometimes circumstances change things a bit. Also etiquette seems to change depending on where you read it or when it was written!
I got married at the beginning of June and moved from Canada to Europe. I am starting my thank you cards 3 weeks later, after 1 week of honeymoon and 1 week of moving. By the time my cards get to Canada and shipped out (if the postal strike is over), it may be two months. I would rather receive a hand-written thoughtful card in a year, even two (as sometimes happens) then receive a computer generated thank you 2 weeks after the wedding! Just my thoughts...
So I got married last weekend, have all but a few thank you's for gifts written (I need a couple of addresses and I haven't seen a couple of the gifts as my husband and I are finishing out separate leases before moving in together, in the same town even). I was told it was tacky to send thank you's to guests who didn't give a gift (as it would blatantly point out that they didn't give a gift). I did not write thank you's for my personal shower (most of the participants in that party also gave us a wedding present); I had never received thank you's from them in the past, and thought it wasn't customary. But, one friend got a gift for me at my personal shower and not a gift for us, and did attend our wedding. As she was a hostess at that shower and received a hostess gift, do I go ahead and send her a thank you now?
Thank you for all the helpful examples for writing thank yous - I needed help with the wording. It has taken me almost a year to get them all out because my brother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and my energy and time have been devoted to keeping my job along with taking care of him and my elderly mother. The dear friends and family we invited to our celebration understand - and I appreciate both their gifts and their support. This horrible experience has taught me perspective (though I hated to learn the lesson this way). Sometimes our priorities have to change based on what life gives us. I'm learning to give people the benefit of the doubt and choose to see the positive in others - you never know what someone is going through-
Hi,
This information s very useful but I didn't see my question addressed so I'm hoping someone can help me out here. I’m getting married in September and noticed on one of my registries that two gifts were bought for us a few weeks ago (I’m able to see what the gifts are and who purchased them). I reached out to the store when they didn’t arrive and have learned the gifts are on backorder and will arrive while we are on our honeymoon. My question here is when to send the thank you notes. Up to this point I’ve been sending thank you notes once we receive and open the gifts. But, I’m not sure how to handle this one, a) I would love to send the thank you notes now to help manage my thank you notes, but b) I’m concerned the givers may be confused and assume this means we recieved the gifts even though we haven’t, and I’m sure they are aware of the fact that the gifts are on backorder. My initial thought is to wait until the gifts arrive as the givers know when the gifts will ship, but I do not want to be rude and have the givers think we’re not thankful for their gifts. Any thoughts on this?
Thank you,
Caroline
Hello. I was married on July 1st, took a weeklong honeymoon, returned to work, and then was forced to travel several times for work since returning from our honeymoon. It is August 26th and is literally my first weekend at home since being married. I plan to write thank-you notes and have them out in the next 5 days. This includes thank-you notes for gifts given just before the wedding. Hoping this is acceptable? My mother-in-law just asked my husband if I had written thank you notes yet. All of my thank you notes for shower and pre-wedding gifts were written in a timely manner (less than 2 weeks after receipt) but, post-wedding has been different.
For the brides who believe guests are being unreasonable for expecting a thank you note. People went out of their way to attend your wedding and buy you a gift. I took a week off, spent four days making a wedding cake for 200 people (which I didn't charge for), attended drove 14 hours to a destination wedding, paid $200 for a room at the resort, and gave a gift. And I'm a more than a little upset that my niece hasn't bothered to send a formal thank you. It's very rude. Other people are busy with full time jobs and their lives too. Many used precious vacation time to attend your wedding. Gratitude may cost a little time and a few pennies for the stamp and card, but brides should generously and graciously spread gratitude.
I have something to interject... i am a hair stylist and i did the hair for a friend for her wedding - i did not make it clear to her that this was my gift, but since i am in a financial difficulty it happened to be the gift that i was able to give... i am struggling because i dont think that people understand the value of what was done... at my salon bridal updos are $90 or more and if you have to travel on site you automatically add $100... so if she was to contract me through the salon it would have cost her $190... so...
my two roommates both got thank you cards and so far i have gotten nothing... and i certainly feel under appreciated... i did a trial for the wedding hair and then the day of... so it was time, energy, effort and expertise... i am not terribly close to this friend and i would have appreciated a thank you card or some sort of acknowledgement from the bride. i think that thank you's to friends for services rendered on the wedding day should be acknowledged too.
alice i wrote that before reading your post... i do agree with you... sometimes i feel like brides feel that extras that are given to them are just that... a given... and it does feel rude. to see that my two roommates got thank you cards for their gifts and i got no thank you for my time energy and expertise was hurtful rude and... rather igonrant.
I wrote this hub so long ago and find it so interesting that it's getting such feedback. I don't check it often and don't respond to everything, but every once in a while I see a comment that I want to respond to. I've seen a lot of brides commenting with a whole list of reasons why they haven't been able to get their thank you notes out and I feel that most of these are excuses. This is not meant to make anyone mad, but saying that you have had to travel for work, etc. in my mind is not an excuse. If you are travelling then you are spending time on an airplane, bring your cards with you and write them while in flight. There is always a few minutes you can find in a day to write out a few thank you notes, seriously, come on!
As far as amberanne's comment goes, I have to agree with you, you should have received a thank you for services rendered. For my wedding I had a very good friend sing, she does this professionally and charges a great deal of money to do so. We discussed it ahead of time and it was a little uncomfortable, but I wanted her to know that I didn't expect her to do it for nothing. She came out and said "I would like for this to be my gift to you" and it was so special to me. Of course she still got a thank you and you should have too!
I completely disagree with Stacey Mac and a lot of the posters here... It is not rude if a couple doesn't send out thank-yous within 3 months. I am a firm believer in the 1-year rule.
For example, my Mom was just telling me that she received a thank you note from her niece (my cousin) over 9 months after the wedding, and she wasn't insulted at all. My Mom and I both understand that it can be a very difficult and lengthy endeavor to join two households, especially when both the bride and groom work full-time jobs. This was the case for my cousin and her new husband.
In my case, I had three people send me cards/gifts over 1 year after the wedding! If they can't be bothered to send even a congratulatory card within what the posters here consider to be a "prompt" timeframe, why should I not be given the same amount of time to send a thank you back?
The one thing I do agree with is the fact that the notes and envelopes should all be hand written. Believe me, when I finally get around to writing these last 3 thank you notes, it will all be with a pen!
Thanks so much for your article. To be truthful, I looked it up because I just received the tackiest "thank you" imaginable. I already knew what I thought the etiquette was for thank you cards, but just wanted to bolster my own standpoint. :) I thought your article was nicely done, and I totally agreed with it.
I personally am willing to give people lots of grace for time-period, though I agree that in general, the sooner the couple can make time, the better.
The one I just received had no return address with machine postage. At first, my husband thought it was junk mail. It was hand-addressed, but inside the envelope was nothing but a pre-printed photo montage of the couple's wedding with small words "thank you" in the lower right as part of the design. No note, nothing written on the back, no acknowledgement of any specific gift, etc. We really aren't too picky and are willing to give grace, but to us this was worse than receiving no acknowledgement at all. It sent the message that the couple thought so little of any gift they got that they wanted to put in the least effort possible to hit the lowest possible expectation for gift acknowledgement.
I'd like to send this info to our niece! We went to her wedding (and shower) over 3 months ago and received no thank you note for either. It's very disappointing. We took the time to travel out of state to each event and she couldn't take a moment to write a couple of notes.
stationery, not stationary
Really??? I can't get over all the "expectations" som of you have on YOUR thank you card....when you give a gift -do you give to expect something back or is it from your heart??? Life is too short to judge people and their timeliness and proper way way to respond. We are at a couple's wedding for a reason- to celebrate THEM...its a very life-changing experience and alot of changes are occurring for the new couple....who cares when and how a thank you card is sent????? Did you give the gift for a response and to be acknowledged? Hopefully not, its to help celebrate them...have some slack!
We were wed 9 months ago tomorrow and after checking with a number of wedding coordinators, bridal shops and wedding experts, we have decided to take their advice and hold off on Thank Yous that were ready to roll out 6 weeks after the wedding...and send out an amazing personalized Thank You photo card with a personal hand written message on the back of each two weeks before our Anniversary, reminding each guest of how important it was to us to have them each there one year ago...and how not one day has passed since that special day when we don't think about the commitment they each made to us! Often too many people forget about the vows they heard a year ago...and this way, everyone can reflect on a year in history.
Too many people are worried about making things uniform...be different, speak from the heart and send a thank you when you think is appropriate.
I am so glad I took the advice from so many professionals...and just did what WE thought was right!
Tough love is needed here. Too many excuses. Suck it up ladies & gents who make excuses: 'You done bad' not sending a thank you promptly. To express contempt & project cynical motives onto the gift-givers when you flubbed just makes it worse.
A fancy photo-thank-you-custom-jobber that takes months to execute ends up short on class, high in narcissism.
There are many more occasions to send a thank you card or acknowledge a gift. For example, someone sends you a b-day gift. Thank them! Promptly!
If you have a truly good excuse for not sending a thank you promptly, as per the author, may I suggest you ask for help from you bridesmaids, anyone, someone.
Good luck, face your mistakes, learn from your mistakes, and teach your children well.
P.S. Not that the excuse-makers seem to care, & I may be wasting my proverbial breath here, but it can hurt one's feelings very much when one's gift is not acknowledged, at the very least; or when not thanked properly (which includes promptly). This lack of compassion for the gift-givers is stunning.
Been married for 2 months as of today.. Oops better get on those thank you cards:) l understand that life gets busy, but I just have to make time.
We received a very nice silver holder thing as a wedding present, though we are not exactly sure what it is for or what to call it. How should we word our thank you note?
We had a guest at our wedding that i'm sure gave us a gift but i can only find a card. How should we word our thank you note? I could have a relative call but that doesn't seem right either!
My daughter has still not sent out her thank you cards and her 1 year anniversary is coming up in a couple of days. Should she forget about it or still send them out?
I attended a very last minute wedding last October. Because it was last minute I did not have time to shop for a gift or even a card so I just wrote them a check on the spot. Not only did not recieve a verbal thank you when I hand delivered it to them I have yet to receive a thank you card and it has been 6 months. The bride has had time to have 2 baby showers (neither which I was invited to, even though the groom is one of our best friends) plan for a baby, has a part time job, and managed to find time to go cash my check. I am extremely agrivated at them, more specifically at her.
Me and my fiancee are getting married in six weeks. It is costing us $30 a person so it is going to small a wedding. As soon as I e-mailed our wedding website she e-mailed me back saying that her, her husband, and two kids will be there. I had to send our friends brother to talk to them about not bringing children because it would cost us an extra $60. They still haven't sent back their RSVP. Now while I never went into this expecting gifts, especially since my fiancee and myself have been living together for 5 years and have everything we need; I am already expecting to get pissed off if they don't give us a gift. I know that sounds extremely rude but i'm still so agrivated how one of our best friends wifes have treated us that i'm in the mind frame now with her that she better be damn greatful she is one of the 60 people invited to our wedding and better show that appreciation.
Now that i'm done venting I have a question. My fiancee's brother (aka best man throwing D.F. a bachelor party) and sister-in-law gave us a very generous monetary gift for the wedding already. The sister in law (as well as a few other of his female family members) is also throwing me a bridal shower. Again I was not expecting any of this so did not properly plan for the unexpected (but greatly appreciated) surprises. Do I go ahead and send them a thank you for the monetary gift or wait until after the wedding and send them one thank you card thanking them for everything the wonderful gift as well as the shower, party, and all of the help they have offered us?
My cousin lives overseas, and we weren't going to the wedding. I was going to send a gift after they were married, but about a week after the wedding I receive a "thank you for your gift" card, before I had sent them anything. Any thoughts on what to do?
Good advice for the most part, however, before you start criticizing about your receiving of "tacky" thank you cards, be "thankful" that the person send one! Also, if you want to throw stones about proper etiquette, take a look at your own spelling my friend...it's labels, not lables.
Bless your little shallow heart!
RGraf 3 years ago
Good advise! Some people go from one extreme to another. After our wedding a few women got extremely upset because we did not send them a thank you during the week while on our honeymoon. They called our mothers just so disappointed in us and refused to get anything after that. Made me wish they had never come. Then you have others that you never get a thank you from. I guess you can't win them all :)